Sacrifices
by LiLAqUaMaRiE
Summary: Everyone thought Tim Speedle had been murdered. Everyone was wrong. [AU Lost Son 3x01 WIP]
1. Prologue

**Title:** Sacrifices  
**Author:** LiLAqUaMaRiE  
**Fandom:** CSI: Miami  
**Pairings/Characters:** Mainly Speed but will hopefully include all of them.  
**Rating:** R  
**Genre:** Drama, angst  
**Warnings: **AU (Lost Son - 3x01) and mentions of death…  
**Summary:** Everyone thought Tim Speedle had been murdered. Everyone was wrong.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own "CSI: Miami" or anything related to it. So don't sue me please!!!! I'm already poor as it is. Don't need a lawsuit to put me out on the street.  
**Note:** First time trying out a fic idea like this, so if I go slow in putting up new parts, bear with me and any grammatical errors – I apologize beforehand.

_As the years go by  
I race the clock with you  
But if you died right now  
You know that I'd die too_  
- 'Until the Day I Die' by Story of the Year

**SACRFICIES**

"_The idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human animal like nothing else; it is a mainspring of human activity - designed largely to avoid the fatality of death, to overcome it by denying in some way that it is the final destiny of man.__"__ – Ernest Becker_

**Prologue: The Beginning of the End**  
_Two Years Ago - Miami  
Location: Labs _

It was a usual hot day in Miami when the Miami-Dade CSI's were working hard on the case of the missing child – Joey Williams. Each Crime Scene Investigator was on their own working upon different part of evidences that they had gathered in hopes of finding the young child.

Within the building in one nearby lab, there was one of those CSI's by the name of Timothy "Speed" Speedle; he was currently examining something for the said crime when the sound of a cell phone ringing overcame the lab. At the sudden noise Speed broke away from his work, distracted. He reached for his cell phone and answered it. "Hello?"

"Mr. Speedle, it's time."

Speed was at the time glancing around at the evidence in front of him when he froze in his actions. His eyes widened immediately as he registered the words he heard into his brain. He knew that voice, he knew what they meant. It was a CIA agent and they were now calling him in. He couldn't help but be taken by surprise. He didn't imagine that the CIA would call him up so soon; he thought he would still be able to spend some more time with his friends – his family.

He was mistaken.

Tim knew he had to respond back, but he couldn't help but feel speechless. He closed his eyes for a moment sighing softly in resignation as he nodded to himself as he finally replied, "Understood."

He was responded back with one word before the line went dead, "Good."

He stood there holding the cell phone to his ear, hearing and knowing that the line was dead. It ironically ended up reminding him of how he was soon going to be to the others – dead.

Tim slowly closed the cell phone, putting it away. His eyes were unfocused as his mind had only one thing running in a small mantra.

He needed to talk to someone; he needed to talk to Horatio.

* * *

_Location: Horatio's Office _

Silence was held within the room as Lieutenant Horatio Caine stared at his dear friend in the eye for a long moment. The two men stared at each other, one held a sad look upon their face while the other had one of defeat.

Horatio sighed softly to himself as he titled his head to the side still staring at the younger man, "So soon?"

Speed wanted to act as if nothing wrong was going on around them, wanted to act as if it was just another day at the job, another day between friends – but he just couldn't. He shrugged his shoulders in defeat, "What can I say? People want me." He tried to joke about the situation, hoping to make it easier to accept, but it wasn't working.

Caine had a grim smile upon his lips. Slowly, he lifted a hand placing it upon his friend's shoulder – in a way to convey his own emotions. "I'll miss having you around."

Tim glanced up at Horatio, his soon to be ex-boss. His eyes were shinning with unshed tears as he started to ramble out the feelings he was trying to hold within. "I wish… I wish things were different." He swallowed hard, "I w-wish I didn't agree to join the CIA; I-I wish I didn't have to leave you...or the others..." His voice shook with emotions, "I wish I didn't have to leave her like this."

Horatio, who still had his hand upon Speed's shoulder, squeezed it gently. "I know."

Speed closed his eyes shaking his head, "I love her." He opened his eyes that were stinging from the need to shed tears; he gazed away from Horatio to look at the ground below as his shoulders started to tremble. The wall he had built around himself was falling apart around him, "I don't want to loose her." A silent tear slipped from his eyes, falling to the floors below.

Caine closed his own eyes. His heart was breaking for his dear friend; it hurt to know he was going to say goodbye to him and it hurt him more that it had to be in the fashion it was going to be in, but he had to be strong. His people needed him to be the strong one, the one they can come too in their time of need – and he wasn't going to let them down. Horatio sighed softly, pulling the younger man before him into a tight brotherly hug. "It's okay Speed." He paused for a small moment. "She won't be alone – you're not alone."

Hearing the words from his close friend, the barrier that was around him broke completely as he held onto Horatio as his life depended on it. He emotionally broke down within his friend's arms, grasping and clinging to him as if he was the only life line he had. He was finally letting out all the pain he had been holding in.

* * *

_Location: Crime Scene _

It was a bright sunny day in Miami when Timothy Speedle got shot in the heart.

His dead body was loaded into a white van which would soon deliver it to the Miami-Dade CSI Morgue for an autopsy.

Alexx Wood was about to head towards the van; she wanted to get into the back to be with Speed even if it was with his dead body. To her it was if she had lost a son and she missed him with all heart. Her red puffy eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses she had on; she was trying to be strong – trying to hold it in, until she was alone to cry out her soul, her pain.

As she was on her way to the van, Horatio voice called out to her making her pause in her steps. "Alexx, can I talk to you for a moment?" She turned around to glance back at the man who had called out to her. She noticed that he like her had a sad face, it was a terrible day. She knew he was feeling the same pain she was. Speed was a member of their family and they lost one of their own. She understood he needed a friend, so she nodded as she turned around heading towards him.

She was just about to reach him when the van exploded into a ball of fire.


	2. Chapter One

**Title:** Sacrifices  
**Author:** LiLAqUaMaRiE  
**Fandom:** CSI: Miami  
**Pairings/Characters:** Mainly Speed but will hopefully include all of them.  
**Rating:** R/M  
**Genre:** Drama, angst  
**Warnings: **AU (Lost Son - 3x01) and mentions of death…  
**Summary:** Everyone thought Tim Speedle had been murdered. Everyone was wrong.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own "CSI: Miami" or anything related to it. So don't sue me please!!!! I'm already poor as it is. Don't need a lawsuit to put me out on the street.  
**Note:** First time trying out a fic idea like this, so if I go slow in putting up new parts, bear with me and any grammatical errors – I apologize beforehand.

_As the years go by  
I race the clock with you  
But if you died right now  
You know that I'd die too_  
- 'Until the Day I Die' by Story of the Year

**SACRFICIES**

_"The people and the friends we have lost or the dreams that have faded... Never forget them."_ – _FFX2_

**Chapter One: Memories**  
_Present Day – Miami  
Location: Cemetery_

Calleigh Duquesne walked up to the grave that was meant for Tim Speedle. Her heart swelled up with pain that was making it difficult for her to breathe. She gazed at the headstone in front of her, her soul felt like it was breaking all over again.

She swallowed hard; she only meant to take a walk outside - a break from the labs. Just a small walk, but she ended up reliving memories - memories that made her want to break down in tears. She didn't even realize she walked all the way to the cemetery until she was there.

Slowly she reached out and touched the headstone gently with her fingertips; she couldn't help but wonder why did he have to lie to her? He promised her; promised to never leave her, promised to start a family with her. But his promises were all played out; she shook her head at the knowledge that he couldn't even remember to clean his gun – that he couldn't remember to not to die, that he couldn't remember to never leave her.

Her mind and soul were in turmoil with pain as her heart kept on breaking with each day that passed by. All of a sudden she felt as if a fuel of agony was burning deep within her; her hand turned into a fist before she pounded it down onto the top of the headstone in anger. She was so damn tired of feeling the pain she was feeling. She was so damn angry - angry with him, the world for taking him from her, angry at herself.

Why did he have to die?

She kneeled down in front of the grave. She stared at the headstone in silence. She remembers back to the funeral that they held for him - remembering how Horatio wouldn't allow her to see his dead body. It was due to the freak accident that had taken place with the van that his body was placed in; his body had been burnt down to the bones - undistinguishable.

Calleigh bent her head down as she closed her eyes. She lifted her hands, placing them together as she started to pray for Speed's soul just like she has done for the past two years since his death while ignoring the silent tears the slipped from her eyes.

* * *

_Present Day – Unknown Location_

A man stood out in a balcony staring off into the sky above. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses; he was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie to match. His hair was slicked back with gel – the man gave off a mysterious appearance but at the same time an appearance that meant serious business.

The man let out a deep sigh as he kept staring into the sky. His mind had wander off, wandered back to the past. At times the past was like a dream to him; something he could only dwell in within his mind – something he could only imagine now. But when those rare moments that he had to dwell in them came up, time stood still around him; waiting patiently until he had to open his eyes to reality – to the world that he was in now.

No matter what happened around him, he kept on remembering the past; afraid to forget, afraid to see it turn to dust, afraid to start believing it really was some kind of dream.

He thinks back to all the changes he went through; from his old home to a new one, from his old life to a new one, from the old faces he once knew to the new ones. Sometimes he wondered if all those faces he once knew were still the same or if they changed in some way.

The man closed his eyes behind his shades. Wishing he was able to turn time back; back to the time which was rapidly becoming forgotten – to the place which was almost no more. Though, out of it all, he still remembers one thing clearly – as if he was seeing it now in front of him.

He still remembers her.

The man sighed softly. He would always remember her, she was engraved deep within him that it hurt to not remember her. Not remember the way her eyes shined, the way her hair would feel under his fingertips, the way she would smile, laugh – cry.

He was always pensive, always thinking – remembering what was, what could have been.

She cried so much for him; he yearned to be at her side, to gather her up within his arms, letting himself drown within her eyes – telling her he'll never leave her again.

A memory invaded his mind, wanting to be heard. It's one of those few moments he had with her, those few moments he wants to cling to – to treasure.

* * *

_He gazed deeply into her eyes, "What would you do if I was gone?"_

_She shook her head as she sighed softly. "Why do you keep on asking me that question?_

_He grabbed her hands into his own, holding them close to his heart as he stared down at her. "Just answer me; I really would like to know."_

_She glanced up to him, her brow furrowed in confusion as she questioned him, "Does that mean, one day, you will disappear?"_

_He tilted his head to a side, his grip on her hand tightened. "What makes you think that?"_

_She sighed again as she shrugged her shoulders, "Well then, what makes you keep asking me that question?" She eyed his face as if trying to search for answers._

_He brought her hands up to his lips, kissing them both gently as possible, as he closed his eyes briefly. He reopened them, to stare at her worried face, "As long as I think of you and you think of me, we will always be with one another…" He gave her a loving smile, "…neither will ever truly disappear."_

_A small smile had graced her lips as she stared up to him, "You're such a romantic."_

_She was responded with another smile, "Only for you, only for you princess."_

* * *

He swallowed hard, that was all he had of her now – memories. His heart screamed out to him to run and find her, to hold her once again within his arms – to be with her. 

"Agent Speedle."

He was brought back to reality by the sound of a new voice; he turned around finding another man wearing a similar suit staring at him with a blank look. He nodded in reply.

The other man stared at him for a brief moment before shaking his head in distaste. "Thinking again, aren't you." It wasn't even a question but a statement.

Speed sighed; ever since becoming a CIA agent he had made some sort of friendship bond – well if you could call it friendship – with another lone agent – John Peterson; well, at least that was what he believed.

The man walked forward to stand next to Speed on the balcony. "You know, this is so typical of you." He snorted, "Always reminiscing on what was and what could have been."

Tim turned his face to glare at the other man. "You know Peterson; you could be my friend if you weren't always trying to be my enemy."

Peterson let out a small laugh. "But then I'd be so bored and that wouldn't be any fun." He sighed noticing the solemn look on Speedle's face, "What do you expect me to do honestly? You know being 'sympathetic' and 'nice' never been my strong points." He turned his attention to stare at some birds flying by, "Besides what am I supposed to do about other people's problems?"

Tim just shook his head.

Peterson was getting annoyed, "Look Tim, this is reality – face it. No one can help you and you can't go back to how things were." He took out a pair of sunglasses putting them on, "So just sit back and enjoy the show."

"What are you my shrink?"

John just shrugged his shoulders in response. "It's a living, I suppose."

A small smile graced Tim's lips, "Thanks."

Peterson nodded. "Yes, yes, hurrah for me." He tapped a finger against his watch, "Now come on, we got a meeting to attend in ten minutes."

With that, both men left the balcony on there way to a meeting they had to attend.


End file.
